18 November 2016

Huge welcome to...

Right, I will put it out there straight away! As soon as I read this I fell in love with her. This Mum totally understands Bad Mum and exactly how I have felt since having my son. This my friends is the reason why I started this website. 

Please enjoy this guest post and I am hoping we will be seeing Amy from kittyandpip (instagram) again! 

Hail to the Shit Mums 

It really gets my goat when 'insta-mums' are slated for hating their kids. 

There is a definite new generation of Mum's arising. A truthful, vocal, zero fucks given, kick ass Mum. I love these women and I am so genuinely thankful to them all. 

When my baby was born I hated everything. I hated my life, my house, my husband and sometimes my eldest and the baby. I felt like an awful person but what was worse I felt like a properly shit Mum. One morning whilst I cried into my cold cup of coffee, after another row with my eldest and the third poonami before Jeremy Kyle, I opened Instagram and found HUNDREDS of honest Mum's living the same things as me. Gone were the #blessed and 'look at their angelic face' captions. Gone were the immaculate homes and children. It was real honest motherhood, just with a quick Reyes filter or black and white photo. It was amazing. 

I think pre-baby women are generally all disillusioned about how idyllic motherhood is going to be which is one of the reasons that the reality is so much harder to deal with. I used to regularly think 'this isn't how it's meant to be!!!' whist pulling my hair out and crying into a dirty muslin. You feel like a failure 95% of the time. The other 5% is the most amazing you have ever felt and that totally erases the shitness. But in your dark moments it gets really dark and lonely. 

So to hear another woman say 'well this is bloody hard' or 'I'd give my left kidney for an afternoon on my own' is so reassuring. It offers an emotional and mental crutch to other Mum's who would otherwise be suffering silently. 

Recently I described my youngest as 'a total little shit' to a fellow Mum I don't know all that well. Instantly regretted it! Her face was a picture of shock and concern. I posted about it on Instagram and the response I received from fellow Mum's (Mum's I haven't actually met) was awesome: a big, warm, reassuring digital hug. 

If I meet a Mum who only has totally amazing, glowing things to say about motherhood then I think her antidepressants must be a lot stronger than mine! Or a Mum who never describes their child as a little shit, I can't help but think she might be a little delusional and that her kid is probably the 'spirited' one. 

I am yet to meet a woman though that only has bad things to say about motherhood. Like I have already said, doesn't matter how God awful it feels as soon as that little mini turns and smiles or belly laughs everything in the world seems to be right again. Muma, you got this! Handle it anyway you see fit, as long as you all survive and have a few smiles along the way who cares if you have dropped the F bomb and called the toddler a dick before breakfast. 


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