Bad Mum

Magazine

23 November 2016

Huge welcome to...

Today we have a guest post from Lianne Harris and you will find her over at mrsmummyharris86 on Instagram. 

As I only know all to well what it is like to be called a bad Mum, Lianne has also experienced the same treatment but has chosen to speak out also and list what she does as a Mother to survive...like we all do! 

Over to Lianne...

Recently I found out someone had called me a bad mother, a bad mother whilst I was pregnant with my first child. Now this was shocking as the accuser is a fellow parent. Someone who I thought would be supportive as I entered into the new chapter in my life, but no. I got judged on the basis that I treat my cats like a child. I set timers for their dinner, we ask people to catsit when we go away overnight and we keep them as housecats due to a train station and major roundabout within seconds of our house.

Now as a major middle finger up to my accuser; here are my mistakes to date:-

1) Quite frequently Ben cries when I'm out of the room, so when I'm in the kitchen washing up or doing his bottles I sing to keep him quiet. It started off with Ben by Michael Jackson and the current choice of song is the Justin Timberlake Troll song. It keeps him quiet whilst I do jobs around the house but lately it doesn't always work. Sometimes he just cries and cries and I walk back into the front room to find Ben has fallen onto his front; sometimes he has an arm trapped underneath as he slopes sideways, other times it's just pure faceplant.

2) When Ben was young and I needed a wee and didn't want his eyes peering at me I'd leave him on his changing mat, it worked until he started to roll over but last week I walked into his room and found cotton buds emptied all over him, they went literally everywhere, in his trousers up his top, in the cot, on the floor! Definitely not going to do that again!

3) Ben was barely a month old when I was hosting a coffee morning with my mummy friends and I realised he needed a bum change. We had a mat downstairs as I was worried about the cats getting under my feet on the stairs, so I went to move him from his Moses basket to his mat but by doing this I accidentally hit his head on the corner of our coffee table. Wow did I panic! I looked at my friends in horror and became more worried when Ben didn't cry. However, he appeared absolutely fine and one of my friends then reassured me by telling me she'd done worse just that morning as her baby (a few months older) had fallen off of the bed!

4) The first time we went out with Ben, all of 6 days post birth, we were in a shop and I walked away from the pram to the next aisle and forgot to take him with me! This is less being a bad mum, more not used to having a baby in a pram to think of!

So there you have it, a list of things I have done since becoming a "bad mum" oh also becoming a bit of a recluse as I had a few panic attacks whilst out with Ben alone due to my PND. So due to this he doesn't always get Sunshine, but most weekends when hubby is home we go out. Must remember to smack my hand!!

Personally, I think I'm a fucking fantastic mother. I don't drink around him, I don't do drugs and I don't palm him off to others so I can run out with my mates and have a night out. I quit smoking (a 15 year habit) the moment I found out I was expecting and haven't caved since.

My point is, we all make mistakes; some of the above laid heavily on my mind for a while but they don't make a bad mum, if we all have confidence in our roles and show our kids that hurtful words can only make us stronger then we're doing a good job.

I am going to be an amazing mother, yes I may do certain things for an easier life like a wet wipe bath or put his rusks in a bottle rather than spoon feed on a busy day (who doesn't?). This child will be given every opportunity in life and will know discipline, empathy and will be an amazing gentleman just like his father. In years to come he will be an amazing boyfriend, husband and hopefully a father; and that will all be down to what his parents taught him.


So fuck you haters!!

You go girl, that is exactly how I felt too and don't feel like you need to justify yourself to anyone as youre doing a great job! 


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