Bad Mum

Magazine

7 July 2017

Mums Without Limits - Guide to Date Night



1.       DO, whatever you do, I repeat DO, do date nights. You liked this guy enough to have a baby (or 2, or more if you’re really f*cking crazy) with him. The least you can do now is get out together and enjoy just being a couple again. The fun times are the glue that hold you together through the sleepless nights and the bum wiping and the worrying and the tantrums and all the other parenting shite. Date nights are relationship gold. DO THEM.

2.       DON’T get too hung up about where you go. The important thing is that you leave the house. Together. Sans enfants. It could be The Ivy or the local curry house. That bit is not important. Just get the f*ck out.

3.       DO leave your kids with whoever will have them. It could be your Mum, Dad, Sister, other random family member (if you’re lucky), it could be the nanny or au pair (if you’re a bit fancypants), it could be a really f*cking expensive babysitter (if you live in London) or you could rope in a mum friend (see point 4).

4.       DO consider a babysitting swap with a friend. This is a win/win situation because: a) free babysitting all round, b) you get to leave your kids with someone they know and (probably… hopefully…) like, c) when it’s your turn to return the favour, you get a night off from your own kids and a quiet evening sitting on someone else’s sofa, watching someone else’s TV and drinking someone else’s wine (this is really quite refreshing). *N.B. Only do this if you’re sure your friend’s kids aren’t complete dicks.

5.       DO make yourself feel fabulous for your ‘date’. Buy a new top. Wear heels. Put some lippy on. Do your hair. Whatever makes YOU feel good and just a little bit not like yoghurt / play doh / snot encrusted Mummy for the evening. Hell, get your best undies on if you like, you can at least pretend there might be a bit of action at the end of the night….

6.       DON’T spend all evening thinking about the kids / talking about the kids / looking at pictures of kids on your phone. You came out TO GET AWAY from the kids, FFS!!!

7.        DON’T spoil the date night vibe by bringing up any ‘controversial’ subjects. All couples have got their own. They’re the topics of conversation that are guaranteed to set you bitching at each other. I’m talking things like schooling, disciplining the kids, politics, money, who’s the most stressed at work, each other’s parents etc. etc. Date night is not the time to bring these up. You just don’t want to spoil your pudding by eating it through gritted teeth whilst seething at what an utter wanker your husband is….

8.       DO remember that getting shitfaced is probably NOT a good idea given that you will be getting up at stupid o’clock in the morning with demons demanding iPads and Coco Pops. Remember this, and then get shitfaced anyway. It’s date night. It’s fun. You’re not boring and sensible Mum and Dad now. You’re totes wild and crazy. YEAH!!!

9.       DO, if amour is the name of the game, jump each other as soon as you get in. Don’t get side tracked with cups of tea, Facebook, unloading the dishwasher, taking the bins out etc. You really need to seize the moment! (Definitely don’t cuddle up on the sofa to watch Gladiator, Braveheart, The Matrix or some other ‘classic’ late night film unless you want to wake up on the sofa at 3 am with a stiff neck, dribbling all over your husband’s shirt. I honestly NEVER do this).

10.   DO decide in advance who’s getting the lie in the next morning. (Spoiler alert: it’s ALWAYS YOU).


Happy date night, Mums Without Limits! #moretomumlife

Written by Kay from @mumswithoutlimits 

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