28 July 2017

Once you become a mom…

I sit back and stare at the almost invisible, non-existent television screen. I extend my hand to get hold of the TV remote, when instead, I come across an animal printed blue rattle. I go back to my position. As I scan my once oh-so-hotel-look-alike room, I only see toys of all sizes geared up taking spaces on my always sparkling floor. I want to clean the mess but the wooden cot I bumped into, gives me a terrible knee pain. I close my eyes; I am in dire need of some sleep. I have never felt so tired before. I have 148 emails to check. My WhatsApp conversations are all on mute. I know nothing about the ongoing elections, I am blank about who got shot. This is my new life, this is how it all gets once you become a mom. 

There are times, however, I try to bring my sanity back. I let the baby scream for some time while I browse through the latest Facebook updates. There are times when I let him be alone to complete the things undone, with intervals of continuous checks and re-checks. And there are days when I decide to go to the salon pampering the pretty me ignoring the wildly ringing phone. But every time I do these things, I ensure the safety of my child. 9 extra-difficult months gave me this cute little thing I cannot breathe without. I complain how he gets up throughout the night. I say that this little bundle of joy has hooked me up searching crazy parenting sites. I exclaim he is introducing me to most oblivious part of life. But with everything I say, I grow more. With everything I do, I dwell deeper in the well of love.

And then, when I see my baby scream as I enter the house, I pause. I cannot resist, but run to pick him up. When I see that lightly scratched skin, I spend hours thinking how it happened. When tears roll down his eyes, my heart genuinely skips a beat. His scream makes me jump. His laughter makes me chuckle. He is my love, he is my life. The moment I see him, I forget all my cracked bones. I am bound to ignore those stretch marks that undermined my beauty. And when I see him smile while asleep, I feel the angel next to me. My life brightens in seconds, my sorrow vanishes in minutes. This is how it all becomes, once you become a mom.

Written by Atika @forever17mag 


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