Bad Mum


20 April 2018

The Gender Parent Gap


19 April 2018

Super Woman? Super Tired!


18 April 2018

Gemma Wade, You Say Tomato Cooking


Done at One?

The feelings are so changeable I can’t even keep up with myself. The daily thought spins around inside my head like a washing machine on steroids. My heart tells me one thing and my head says another whilst my body literally wants to shut up shop. Some days it’s a positive, some days ‘it’s a no from me’ and other days (most days) I simply don’t have an answer to the biggest question of the moment. Am I done at one?

Will I have another baby? Not just any baby but an HG (Hyperemesis gravidarum) baby? Because there’s an 86% chance that’s exactly what I’ll have.

27 March 2018

Fifty Shades of Green

Have a baby they said, you'll glow they said.
So I did, but I didn't.
My glow was more a shade of pond green algae rather than the pregnant lady radiance I had hoped for.
It all proceeded with a puke until the darkness descended. 


26 March 2018

My truth

I've started this at least 30 times over the last two years and it might be another 2 before I finish it but here goes....

If you've ever wondered about my Son's biological Father then I hope this answers any questions. I feel exceptionally vulnerable writing this but I feel like it's time to explain.

I worked in a bar in my early 20s. I was as sassy as they came and thought I knew it all. A new chef came in one day and I took a shine to him. On further investigation he was just out of rehab for an alcohol problem. Naively at that point I had no idea the seriousness of this. Who was I to judge? It didn't put me off and I want to punch myself in the face for saying this but I think it might have spurred me on.I was a fixer you see. Most of the problems in my life were caused by me being a fixer but I learned this the hard way.

T was quiet and placid so the polar opposite of me. He was never charismatic or charming but there was a vulnerability I saw and wanted to help. I was warned off by many and this made me more determined to make it work. I've always been a stubborn shite.This isn't a character assisanation but T was someone you'd describe as non-descript. He didn't have much about him really but he was kind to me at a time when I needed it more than I knew.

I finished uni and moved in with him almost right away. I was flat sharing at the time but spent less and less time at my own place. I remember telling my Nan I was giving up my flat and her saying she'd pay my rent just to have it empty. Just in case. I should have known then but, as always paid no attention.

I must mention an incident that happened early on as it sticks with me. I was a size 16, maybe 18. I never cared really. T had gathered information on a gastric band for me and showed me it one day. I was angry and hurt. He later apologised but that's when it started I think. The chipping away of my confidence. Control. I should have packed my bags then but I didn't.

We had a fairly good relationship. The lack of alcohol was never an issue. I was as supportive as a 22 year old knew how to be. T had a good job and I worked my arse off in 2 jobs so we were financially secure. We did nice things, but looking back there was no real love. We both had rocky upbringings and it was the safety I liked, I think. We didn't argue and stupidly decided to try for a baby after about a year. After the shaky start we had as kids, it seemed somehow we could but it right by giving a baby a good chance. I now realise how ridiculous this sounds.

We wanted to do it right. We went to the doctor to discuss me coming off the pill. As I'd be on for so long they said it could take up to a year. 2 weeks later I was pregnant. I was over the moon but sadly that's when the wheels started to come off. The day of my positive tests (all 19) T called to say he was in hospital. Apparently he was so excited he'd cut into his hand at work. I was angry he'd almost stolen my thunder and been so careless. Looking back I'm convinced this was deliberate. I now look back and question everything. You're about to find out why.

In the early days when we stayed up all night talking, he confided in me that his first love was killed in a car accident. He cried and the story was so horrific I did too. I know now that this was a complete lie.

Anyway the cutting of the hand was the very start. Things escalated very quickly. He started working late and starting early then eventually just disappearing. For days. I didn't tell anyone except one friend for fear of the "I told you so" chat and also I didn't really want to admit to myself the reality.
I thought he was nervous and scared. I was too. I was also suffering with hyperemesis gravidium so was in and out of hospital - alone mostly. I just plodded along like the determined little shite I am. Throwing up at the side of the road on the way to work every day with zero support or sympathy.

One day T had been out all night. I was 6 months pregnant. He came in and seemed odd. I asked if he'd been drinking and he said no. He didn't smell of alcohol but something wasn't right. I went through his pockets and found diazepam (or valium) and confronted him. T wasn't a shouter but he was angry. I knew so little about addiction or drugs but I knew the tablets weren't his. I asked where he'd got them and he told me a local dealer. I was horrified. I shouted, and to this day I still partly blame myself for what happened next. That's how abusers make you feel though. I now know that.

Heavily pregnant and ready to leave for work he came in the bathroom when I was wiping my tears. My tears of knowing I was 23, pregnant and very much alone. My tears of knowing my naivity had really done it now and I was about to bring a baby into a completeshambles of a relationship. T was like a mad man. He punched me in the face so hard I fell right to the ground. I remember shouting 'my baby' and Ill never forget the evil in his voice as he shouted 'fuck your baby” as he repeatedly kicked me in the stomach.

After what seemed like forever he just took himself to bed. I left quickly. Terrified he'd come after me. I was covered in blood but in a complete state of shock I left for work. My neighbour saw me. I didn't know her but she grabbed me in her house without even thinking. I told her what had happened and she cleaned me up and hugged me. She told me I had to call the police. I knew I did too but I had to get to work. Or I thought it did. I was a store manager and didn't want the shop to not open. Again I think the shock just didn't allow me to realise what had just happened. I went to work, opened the store and calmly called the police. I was in a complete trance. I didn't want to be that person. People like me weren't battered woman. I was strong. Not anymore.

Did you know most domestic abuse starts during pregnancy? When a woman is at her most vulnerable. Neither did I.

I left work. I made my excuses and headed straight to hospital to get checked. All I could think about was my baby. I really want to tell you how supportive the hospital were but sadly that just wasn't the case. I was made to feel small and I was judged. I was treated like a victim. It must be so frustrating for them to see woman in that situation time after time but I really do feel there are better ways to speak to people. I'm hoping I was an isolated incident and other people have had better experiences than I did. They also didn't scan me as they assured me the baby was ok. I was terrified so booked an emergency private scan. I'm so grateful I was in a position to do that as I couldn't imagine going through my pregnancy not knowing for sure.

The police came next. I've got a knot in my stomach writing this as never in a million years do I want to put anyone off reporting abuse. It really needs reporting. The reason so many people get away with this shit is because it's not reported enough but the police…weren't that helpful. I was made to feel like just another stupid battered woman. I was made to feel like I'd go back for more and give them more work. Again I was judged. Also I wasn't aware that all domestic were reported to the social work where kids are involved. It makes perfect sense but it just hadn't crossed my mind. The way I was told this made me feel under fire as a parent. like I was about to be investigated. I've never been so terrified in all my life.

I didn't charge T. The police made it clear it was my word against his and it seemed like more hassle at a time I didn't need it. A decision I'll always regret now but it felt right at the time. I wasn't protecting him - or at least I thought I wasn't. I was leaving him and I did. 6 months pregnant and sleeping on my aunt's floor. It wasn't how I'd envisaged my third trimester but here I was.

I left him with everything and just didn't go back. I'd gone from financially secure to virtually penniless in the space of a few weeks. I'll never forget my best friend when I told her. She was the only person who didn't judge me. She didn't give me the look of pity I was so used to but instead she helped me sort the practicalities. She bought me a bed the day I told her. In all the shit going on that's the one act of kindness that sticks out. Always look for the helpers.

Her Mum gave me advice on getting a place to stay and I'm so fortunate that within about 5 weeks I had a flat from the council. It was hardly the dream and had blood splattered up the walls when I moved in but with help from my family it quickly became home.

I'll never forget having to tell my grandparents. At that point my Grandad was ill and I didn't want to make things worse so I kept them in the dark until I was settled. Deep down I think I was ashamed and stupidly protecting T too but I couldn't bring myself to cause them distress at such a hard time. My Nan never judged me. Not once. Calmly I told her I left him and why. She told me it was going to be ok and she was right. She was always bloody right!

I didn't hear much from T after that but I do know he quickly went downhill. He had been drinking and I found out he was heavily addicted to diazepam and a pretty impressive collection of prescription drugs too. How could I not have noticed that you're probably wondering but I was throwing up 30 times a day, working a really stressful job and coming to terms with the fact I had a baby on the way. That's how!
He wasn't apologetic. He didn't actually seem to think he'd done anything that wrong. He played a great victim.

Something else I have to mention was something I'd never even heard of until I'd met T. I was sick to the stomach when I found out and it still makes me shudder now. T was a smoker and often left cans of gas lying around. I didn't smoke but knew they were forfilling lighters. Or so I thought. From the beginning I found them all over the house. It didn't sit right with me but I wasn't sure why. One day I found a bin bag with at least 50 empty butane cans in. I knew then, I think but chose to take his word that nothing way wrong. After he beat me he then mocked me with the fact I was so stupid for believing him. He was addicted to inhaling gas. I still can't believe people do that. It seems like such alien, grim behaviour but then that's addiction.

Addiction is selfish and it doesn't care. Once you've witnessed true addiction your eyes are opened. As much as I hate T for everything I genuinely wouldn't wish addiction on anyone. It rips through life and reality like a hurricane. It doesn't give a fuck.

After I moved we spoke more and more. About the relationship he'd have with the baby. I refused to be the person who kept a child from his father. I so wanted to do the right thing but I genuinely didn't know what that was. T confided in me one day. He said he'd got his act together and he had panicked as we'd got pregnant so quickly. He reminded me we had a good thing and asked if I'd consider putting the baby up for adoption so we could continue with the way things were. I said no obviously but still couldn't help feel slightly sorry for him. I know that probably sounds insane but the pressure was just too much. I blamed myself for agreeing to a baby and felt robbed. This wasn't what I'd signed up for. I was now alone but very much ready to do this. I wasn't going to let that baby down.

T swore he'd sorted himself out. Everyone believed him. I almost did too but once you've been hurt like that you'll never really trust someone. I could never have made it work with him. Wondering. I agreed to let him be part of the babies life.

I had a visit from the social workers to discuss the situation. Unlike the police and the hospital they were great. Their priority is always the children and that's 100% how it should be. They come under fire a lot but they had my back. They were obviously glad I'd broken away and happy to support me in any way they could. My parenting abilities never came under scrutiny. They put me on to the woman's aid who were also amazing! I can't stress that enough. The police and the hospital are on the front line but woman's aid and social workers have all of the real experience and tools to help. I really wish that was publicised more.

Anyway I digress. In the last 2 months of my pregnancy, social workers called me about 5 times to make me aware of failed suicide attempts by T. They had a duty to keep me in the loop and once again my life was taken over by fear. It's round about then thatthe threats started. T lived 5 minutes from me and in 2 months my tyres were slashed and windscreen smashed time after time. He followed me and watched me coming home. He made it clear if I didn't take him back my life would be hell. The police rolled their eyes at every call I made. Just another domestic you see! Even if you're spilt up it's still a domestic and then there were no stalking laws in Scotland.

I remember my aunt telling me once the baby was born my sense of loss at my relationship with T would diminish. She couldn't have been more right. This little bundle was mine and I didn't care about anyone else. That baby saved my life. I threw myself into motherhood. I did baby massage and reflexology in between constant abuse and threats from T. I just cracked on with it. To this day I don't know how I did it.

One day I was about to have some well deserved time off and go out with my friends. I got a picture message of T slicing his arm. My friends we're supportive as the night was cancelled while we waited to give a police statement. He loved the control. He didn't want to die. He wanted to make my life hell.
On one of his many failed suicide attempts I got a call to say they weren't sure if he'd make it through the night. Religious I am not but I swear that night I prayed so hard he wouldn't. The months of hell I'd endured I felt like him dying was my only way to happiness with my son. He made it though the night. The hell continued.

Eventually I begged social work to stop telling me what was going on. They were satisfied I'd left him and did. That angered him too. He needed my attention. My Son was never his priority it was always me. I sort of wish it was because he loved me but really I know it's because he hated himself so much be just wanted to make me miserable too.

For legal reasons and to protect an innocent party I can't explain how, but on one day after many a death threat I found out T had spent 7 years in prison. I won't go into it but think about the sort of thing you get 7 years for. He didn't steal a bar of soap put it that way. That day I found out a lot about him I was never supposed to know. It was only then I realised the seriousness. I had to get this man out my life.

I changed my number and got some very quick legal advice. I had no idea what I was doing but I knew this hell needed to end. Within 2 days I had an interdict with power of arrest. This is the Scottish version of a restraining order but due to the closeness of our flats meant he didn't have to stay away from me. He wasn't allowed to cause me fear. I felt safe at last. Naively. He stood and watched my every move. The fact he couldn't contact me made him angry. When I reported him I was told that being near me wasn't a crime. I just had to accept that and stop wasting police time.

There were too many incidents after that to mention as I realise this is already far longer than I wanted it to be. T struck up a friendship with my upstairs neighbour. How convenient? He could now watch me all day long from the comfort of my building. Thank you Scottish law for that technicality!

This went on and on. As soon as he realised we were over our Son never came into it. Other than to tell me I was a bad mother for keeping him away from his Dad. I only spoke to him via lawyers and advised he could see the baby in a safe place provided he was clean and sober. This never really materialised apart from a handful of empty promises.

After a night out, baby was at my Dads and I came home about 2am. Guess who was in my stair? He followed me in the house and I told him to leave. He was drunk and calling me a bad mother for leaving our Son. I was drunk and obviously feeling brave cos I tried to push him out my front door. I didn't have the strength and he pinned me against the wall by the neck. He said he would kill me and at that point I knew he was serious. I genuinely thought that was it for me. All I could think about was my child. He left eventually.Leaving me in a heap with strangle marks all over my neck. I knew I had to get out the house.

I ran to a taxi office and called my brother. I didn't know what else to do. I put a scarf on a told my brother we'd had a falling out. He still wasn't aware of the situation as I was stupidly protecting T. I knew my brother would go nuts and I didn't want a backlash so I thought it better to just sit quiet. Years later my brother told me at that point he'd already guessed what was going on.

Domestic abuse is the single most confusing thing I've ever encountered. I went from wanting him dead to feeling terrible as he was the father of my son. I hated what he had done but also mourned the person I thought I knew and loved. That was the hardest part.

I didn't go back to my house after that. I was sure he'd kill me. I went to live with my Dad and took steps to find somewhere else to live. I was so low at that point I didn't even realise. I had no quality of life. I was frightened to go out and embarrassed of the mess I was in. Through it all I still blamed myself for allowing this to happen. I didn't event realise how much this man had broken me until now when I just wrote this paragraph.

One day I got a call from my Nan to say that T had text her to say he was going to kill her. He said he was going to set fire to her house. My Nan knew half a story at that point so didn't take it too seriously but after much persuasion called the police. My Grandad as so ill at that point and I was ashamed by the drama I brought at the worst time. The police explained how difficult it would be to charge T and advised my Nan it could end up being a stressful process for her. I sobbed and begged for her to charge him but understood her decision not to. That was that. Once again there were zero consequences for him and yet again I was living in fear.

I continued to live at my Dads trying to maintain a normal life for my Son. One day I went to check my house as it was empty. Baby and I were in the house for a matter of minutes and I was so scared he'd come and hurt us. I went to leave and my carpet was on fire. He'd put lit paper thought my letterbox in a attempt to set fire to my house. I quickly got it out, left and called the police. They got him on his way back from mine. He denied it of course.

It took weeks to investigate but I was sure that justice would prevail. It didn't. They couldnt even charge him. Not enough evidence. It would be funny if it wasn't so fucking tragic. In the few weeks it took for the investigation I moved house. Far enough away that he couldn't find us. I lived in hiding for a while and had nightmares for about 5 years. I went on medication for anxiety as I suffered panic attacks. It took me years of counselling to rebuild my life but I did. My boy is 8 now and is aware he has 'another' Dad but that's all he knows. My husband raised him from 3 and is not just his Dad but a wonderful father.

I've never told my husband everything but he knows bits and has pieced things together. I don't like to talk about it, so feel that by writing this, it's out there. Violence scares me and I can't deal with men shouting. My husband understands and luckily is the kindest, gentlest man I could have asked for.

So there it is. That isn't even it all, but I'm aware this is now longer than my dissertation was so thank you for reading this.

One final note. I have noticed how many people who have been victims of domestic abuse and don't like to talk about it. I, more than anyone, can understand why, but sadly this means there is a massive lack of awareness. The stigma is very much still there and until more of us speak up it will remain. We need to work at removing the shame and victim blaming surrounding the issue.

I was extremely fortunate with the amount of support I had and not everyone does but there is ALWAYS a way out. Even if it seems impossible at the time. Abusers don't change and it's never your fault. You are worth so much more.

Yvonne (@champagneandsnottynoses)


13 March 2018

Pushy Mums Club


DIY Foosball game for your kid from an old shoebox

The game I am about to share with you is a great game you can do with your children which is extraordinary. With this foosball game, you can offer your children something different. The foosball table is awesome and very simple game that everyone can play. But, to buy foosball table can be very expensive, because most cheap foosball tables cost from $100 to $200. So, this is a great opportunity for you to make a cool DIY project with your children, save some money and teach your children some new skills plus, develop children's creativity.


9 March 2018

International Women's Day from Bad Mum


Travel Feature by Ruby

Hey everyone,

I celebrated my 21st birthday this January and amongst lots of other lovely gifts my Mum booked us a weekend in Prague. Although I've not been blogging much lately this is definitely something I want to write about and kickstart Bad Mum's travel section!

I dropped Iza (my son) at nursery in the morning, ready for his Dad to pick him up for their boys weekend together, I'd already stocked up on their favourite snacks and knew they'd have lots of fun. Then I met my Mum at the train station (by the skin of my teeth!) where we headed to Heathrow. As we were travelling by train we left plenty of time to allow for any delays but everything went really smoothly so we got to the airport really early.

As I got in the queue to check-in my Mum walked off and told me to keep our space so I did and when it was our turn she came running back with the news that she'd upgraded us both to First Class! I was so excited because I love flying already and knew this would make our short trip even more enjoyable. After check in we went to the BA lounge which I would recommend to anybody who is travelling with British Airways from Heathrow to upgrade to! The food was amazing and its great to have somewhere to chill before you fly, they also had a separate family friendly area which was lovely for young children.

Unfortunately on the flight I got really bad motion sickness (nothing to do with the gins I'd had!). I never used to get travel sick but I suffered really badly in pregnancy and was sick on almost every flight I went on. Luckily, the cabin crew had some sickness tablets and once I took those I was fine so I'm definitely going to purchase them for the future because I've always loved flying and don't never got sick/nervous at all so its really weird when I do, I'll link them here incase any of you guys want to get them too.


28 February 2018

Feature: Slimming World Recipes

So you know when you do Slimming World, you’re meant to love crustless quiche?

Well, I hate it. The texture makes me feel really weird.

So in a bid to try and like it, I added some leftover rice. GAME CHANGER!

See below for my syn free crustless quiche recipes. One vegetarian and one for the meat eaters.


23 February 2018

Becoming an Egg Donor!


In Defence of Coleen Rooney

Right. Hold tight readers. I'm getting on my high horse.

I never thought I'd one day write a blog in defence of Coleen Rooney! I've never given her much thought really. I think it's fair to say she's not going to be remembered as a feminist icon; for a number of reasons. Actually, that's not kind. Perhaps behind closed doors she is in fact a raging advocate for equality... who knows. To all intents and purposes she seems to me to be a good Mother, the constant in her boys' lives while Daddy is off kicking a ball around/drink driving/bonking old ladies.

We've all got our opinions about how much she should or shouldn't put up with from the delectable Wayne; but hey you know the drill; never judge a woman til you've walked a mile in her (Christian Louboutin) shoes.

Anyway; she's always struck me as a kinda good egg. A normal, working class girl who got lucky (if you consider being married to Wayne Rooney good luck).

So I was foaming on her behalf to hear some of the 'congratulations' being offered to her on the birth of her fourth son Cass.

As expected, through all the saccharin sweet commentary, there was an undertone of 'oh she must be so disappointed bless her! Imagine; yet another healthy bouncing baby boy...ah... well you never know maybe the 5th member of the five-a-side team will be a girl!'

I'd kind of have more respect for the journalists/tv presenters if they said 'Eeesh I bet she's livid! She'll be off to America like that Danielle Lloyd to do sex selection.' But they don't. It's insidious and implied.

Worse still is that more often than not these commentators are women, some are mothers. Somehow that makes their passive aggression/jealousy/meanness even more unseemly. Haven't women got enough to feel less than perfect about these days without being borderline dissed for not managing to pop out an equal ratio of boys to girls?

So; let's look at this two ways:

Firstly... You know; maybe Coleen doesn't want a girl. Maybe, like me, after boy number one or number two, or number three, even if she'd always imagined she would have a daughter one day; she realised that she could not possibly love this little person an ounce more if he was the proud owner of a giant vagina.

Maybe she loves the boisterous craziness followed swiftly by the fierce breath-taking cuddles. Maybe she loves the footy, the mud, the never-ending penis chat and the rough and tumble of it all. Maybe her boys don't even all fit that stereotypical boy-mould and she's already got one who is up for shopping trips and spa days. (As for me... Come on Ellis, you're my last hope - the other two would be ejected from the spa for dive bombing in the jacuzzi or pissing in the plunge pool within five minutes.)


22 February 2018

Wedding Crashers - surviving a wedding with children

Around the age of 25 I realised I had definitely reached adulthood as wedding invitations started gracing my door mat in abundance.  Pre – children I loved weddings.  Seriously, what’s not to love?  A slap up meal, a few (ahem  – several!) glasses of bubbly, catching up with friends and family, a party and boozing into the wee hours.  Pre-sproglets, the only thing not to like about matrimonial celebrations was the morning after. 

So a couple of months ago when my big brother got hitched and my entourage consisted of an 8 month old and a three year old, I’ll be honest, there was a slight feeling of dread.  I wasn’t too worried about Baba as she was still immobile then so the level of havoc she could create was on a smaller scale.  Sure there was always the chance of a screaming fit of epic proportions that would give a group of banshees a run for their money but Lucy is pretty chilled out so this was unlikely.  The pre-schooler on the other hand; well, this is the child that rarely sits still for more than 0.03 seconds, is always charging about so consequently crashes in his bed by 7pm at the latest.  Coupled with this, it was to be our first night snoozing (well attempting to snooze) in a family room.  Yes that’s right – ALL of my children sleeping in one room – kill me now.

But…. apart from Sebastian categorically refusing to play his part as ring bearer  (I made a lovely stand in page boy if I do say so myself) the trauma I was building myself up to did not materialise.

Here are my top tips for surviving a wedding with children in tow:


Bored children do not make for happy children and sitting quietly through a wedding ceremony and formal meal do not feature highly in a child’s top ten list of fun things to do!  We were lucky, my sister-in-law was super organised with a play tent and boxes packed full of toys for the little ‘uns but if in doubt pack LOADS of toys.  Also don’t forget your smart phone.  Post – ring bearer meltdown Sebastian was a tad emotional during the ceremony but the Peppa Pig painting app kept him quiet throughout the legalities.


A wedding day is not, I repeat NOT, the day to worry about your mini me’s getting their full quota of veg.  Pretty sure Sebastian ate his weight in crisps throughout the day but hey, it was only one day!  In fact, during a post ceremony energy level slump I high tailed it back to our room to grab some sugary goodness to stuff into the three year old.  We’re getting through this day with as few dramas as possible here people not winning parenting awards!


If, like me, you have a completely hyperactive sproglet then the evening’s dancing entertainment is where you can start to relax.  Grandparents, Aunts, cousins, work colleagues, complete strangers will all be amused by a three year cutting some serious moves on the dance floor.  Let them enjoy it i.e. they get their groove on while you recline with a glass of vino supervising (AKA parenting) from your pew.


How to make chores fun for kids!


21 February 2018


  • Survey of children aged 3-11 reveals Disneyland with free rides as their dream home
  • David Attenborough, edible walls and house robots top the list
  • Magic homework rooms, sausage-llama pets and dinosaur parks also favourite features for kids

20 February 2018

Should child maintenance include childcare costs?


Young children at high risk of emotional damage from accessing adult content

Kids are only ever three seconds from online danger at home as parents unintentionally neglect to protect young children
Parents are not toddler-proofing their online world, with a huge 87 per cent[1] of parents admitting that they don’t restrict how much time their young children spend online – three-year olds are spending more than four hours a week with these ‘digital babysitters’ and being exposed to potential psychological harm, warns Kaspersky Lab.
There is a significant discrepancy in the ways that parents of young children protect them from harm, through both physical and digital environments, a Kaspersky Lab investigation has uncovered. With the high number of connected devices now in the home[2], children are on average spending over four hours a week watching video content online – and are only ever three seconds away from danger[3], yet 87 per cent of parents have neglected to toddler-proof their online world.


Embrace - the documentary


A Love Letter to Sophie the Giraffe

When you were little, who did you love the most? Some of you will have been inseparable from your Mummy. After all, she looked after you in her tumtum for 9 months, keeping you safe and warm. Some of you will have loved your Daddy, feeling protected and loving to feel his scratchy Velcro face.

Not my son. 

He’s in love with a 7 inch plastic Giraffe called Sophie.

Sophie la Girafe (which roughly translates as ‘Sophie the Giraffe’) was first created back in the 1960’s by Vulli, a French company. Since then, over 30 million have been sold. Unlike those tryhards Barbie and Sindy, Sophie hasn’t changed for close to 60 years.
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