Bad Mum

Magazine

21 January 2018

Mothers ruin



We all know the old wives tale that gin used to help mother's forget about their responsibilities. Are we heading back there? I like a drink but is the recent 'gin o clock' culture really that healthy? Personally I'm worried its a bit like we're glamourising a potential threat to our overall wellbeing. Cocktails with the girls might be a glam treat now and again but there's nothing pretty about drunken tears and vomiting in the street.

Drinking is so socially acceptable these days. Sobriety surprisingly isn't and that's a worry in itself. If you're choosing to not drink people automatically assume you're a) pregnant or b) a recovering alcoholic. What does that say about us?

I can't help but look around and see an awful lot of problem and feelings being masked by the bottle. If there's an underlying issue then it's so important to have that addressed. If you're unhappy then ask yourself why? What can you do to change it? I can almost guarantee that drinking isn't the answer. If you're feeling down it's bloody hard to admit it but trust me, tackling the problem head on is much better long term.

This isn't just about mothers either but I'm seeing a worrying amount of 'bad day. wine o'clock' posts. I LOVE a drink. I like the taste of most alcohol and I love experimenting with it but my pro tip is if you feel like you need a drink. Don't have a drink. Deal with the feelings that are making you feel like shit. Then by all means if you want a drink, have a bloody drink!
Alcoholism isn't the issue here. It's mental health, we all know alcohol is a depressant so although you might feel like Beyoncé after a few I can guarantee that's going to bite you on the arse in the morning.

I speak from (years of) experience when I say that nothing will make you feel like a failure as much as throwing up all day and ordering pizza for breakfast. Especially when kids are involved. Of course that shit doesn't make you a failure at all but the fear can certainly make it feel that way. It gets to the point when you have to ask yourself if it's really worth it. It's taken me until now to realise it mostly isn't.

If I have a rare wild night out and dance the night away I'll take a hangover and put it down to experience. A night sat drinking in front of TV on the other hand, is that really worthy of feeling grim the next day? A glass of wine with dinner can be nice but unfortunately for many a glass can lead to a bottle very quickly and before you know it it's a bottle every other day.

Unfortunately it's easy to confuse alcohol with self care and people are having a drink instead of actually taking care of themselves and their mindfulness. I really hope this doesn't come over as self righteous drivel. If anything I write this as this was a harsh realisation I came to from my own experience. I can't harp on enough about how we need to look after ourselves first. Have a bath, read a book, meditate. Whatever works for you but if you feel low or anxious then steer clear of booze.

Save it for when you're back to feeling like you. Trust me your mind and body will thank you for it.

Yvonne x

https://insighttimer.com/guided-meditations





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  1. I’m with you on this one! Each to their own, most people are totally sensible with it. But what gets me is the sad state of affairs that whenever I’ve posted online about a baby issue... be it not sleeping, refusing the bottle etc so many have simply answered “Get the Wine Out! You deserve a gin! Now you know why mums drink” To be honest I was looking for advice, practical steps, maybe some empathy... I genuinely don’t see how me having a drink will help any situation. And I love a good booze. Pre baby days were filled with them. Now though, a glass of prosecco feels so much more special when it is actually saved for a special occasion and then I genuinely enjoy the taste. It’s a worrying culture that it’s become the answer to everything! Especially in Scotland, whenever I’ve spoken to friends about breastfeeeding, one of their remarks is usually “oh you’ll be giving up soon so you can get a proper drink?!” No, I still have the odd one or two but I can take it or leave it. My head and my skin are thanking me for it.

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