Bad Mum

Magazine

16 January 2018

“Mummy why don’t you work?”



I think my Mum was superhuman, she had a full time teaching job, three children and was a single parent. I am not going to say she made it look easy but she did it and we all turned out okay so that's a job well done in my book. This doesn't mean my Mum no longer has super powers because actually they seem to have gotten stronger as the years tick by and has now taken Granny duties to another level but I am thinking back of how I viewed her as a kid, and honestly I don't know how she coped.

I am not sure my daughters view me in quite the same light and speaking to one one my best friends recently her children don't seem to either. Both of us are ‘stay at home mums’, we are there to do all the household jobs including cooking, cleaning, dogs, school, clubs, oh and being responsible for small people, on top of this my friend makes beautiful cakes and I help her out (she is far better than me), and I am trying to work out what I want to be when I grow up. Both of us have had comments from our daughters as to why we don’t work, mine went a little like this:

Daughter: Mummy why don't you do anything?
Me: What do you mean?
Daughter: Well you just stay at home and do nothing all day
Me: *****Crying into washing basket I was juggling up the stairs with the other 900 things I put away daily***

I didn't on the occasion of this conversation sit my 7 year old daughter down and explain all the jobs I do and how it's a thankless task etc etc because it’s not her fault. In her opinion a job is where you leave the house and earn money. I don't do that, so to her I don't have a job. My friend, Anna, also said the same thing, her daughter just frankly asked her “Mummy why don't you work?”, she understandably felt a little depleted having just completed 3 cake orders and her daughters friends had just left after a 3 hour play date (all of whom had been fed and done crafts).


Raising children you want them to reach their potential and if I am honest, I don't necessarily want my girls to be stay at home mums but I also I don't think I want them to be so career minded that they either do not have children or miss out on their children growing up, but these thoughts mean nothing, as my girls will be who they will be and so because of this I won't sit my girls down and point out that actually I work really hard every day, instead it’s one of the reasons that I started writing this blog, to open up another aspect of my life to them. Not that they read them (my eldest does), but so that they can see me doing more that the normal (for me) day at home, funnily enough when I am sat at the computer they seem to show a tiny bit of respect for it (only 30 “mum can you…?” per minute rather than the normal 50), so I may just start sitting at the computer to look at Facebook from now on (hehe).

I don't know if its right, and i don't know if I should point out that being a Mummy (stay at home or not) is really bloody hard or should I teach them that they should work harder and maybe not have kids quite so young?? I guess I have to just let them work it out?

I love that I am at home with the kids, and very lucky to be able to do so. I am sure thinking back to my mum, she would love to have been home more, and for us as kids, we probably would have wanted her to the do the school run more often, so in the words of Bart Simpson “You're damned if you do, and you're damned if you don't”.

Written by Jo Johnson (All The Family)
INSTAGRAM jojo_johnsonx


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