Bad Mum

Magazine

14 January 2018

Scream If You Want to Go Faster

Living so rurally means we have to travel in the car nearly every day.  Our nearest supermarket is a 20 minute drive away and our GP surgery is a 15 minute drive so, for us, having a car really isn’t a luxury.  There is a bus service that covers our village but for some inexplicable reason it will pick you up from the village but there’s no return service so once you’re out, you’re …well… out for good. 

You’d think given the epic amount of time the children and I spend in the car we’d have automobile transportation down to a fine art but, sadly, that’s where you’d be wrong.

Children in cars


Sebastian – scream if you want to go faster!  As a baby Sebastian was a committed speed demon.  Literally the moment the speedometer nudged a fraction below 50 mph the car was instantly filled with hysterical screaming reaching decibels akin to a teenager’s house party when their parents have gone away for the weekend.  And stopping?  A little tear used to trickle down my check if I saw traffic lights on red up on the road ahead.  Thankfully, like most baby phases, this was eventually outgrown but replaced, most recently, with “Mummy stop now!”.  He appears to have realised I can’t pass him things, pick up whatever he’s dropped and provide an in-car catering service whilst driving so clearly stopping instantly is the only logical solution to this taxing dilemma. 

Lucy – sibling rivalry is alive and well.  Lucy is by far my happiest passenger and complaints from this travelling companion are, thankfully, pretty limited.  The biggest problem I have with this back seat driver is the apparent plethora of wonderful things outside her window.  Bear with me … when you have more than one child you must strive for all things to be equal or feel the wrath of an apparently undervalued, under-loved child.  You try explaining to a three year old that we drive on the left hand side of the road so if your sister is sat behind the driver’s seat the traffic going the other way will be on ‘her’ side and no this does not mean the tractor / lorry / campervan / police car is choosing ‘her’ side!

Murphy – bat sh*t crazy dog.  Murphy views car journeys as a challenge – the challenge being how many other people, animals and vehicles can you keep away from the car at all times.  If a lorry travelling behind us decides to attack (AKA comes within 20 feet of us) then our car and passengers must be defended vocally and loudly with complete commitment to the task in hand.  Murphy weighs 8 stone so even in a large 4x4 this leaves the car rocking back and forth looking much like we are transporting a hysterical rhino.

Now these lovely challenges are simply what I face on a routine 10 minute car journey.  Long journeys?  Don’t ask!


So safe travels all, don’t forget to buckle up and make sure you savour every lonesome car journey you have!

Written by Steph @country_mumma_ (Country Mumma)
SHARE:

No comments

Post a Comment

Blogger Template Created by pipdig