13 February 2018

This is something I thought I would never say...I want another baby!

I had my little Cassi-man only 10 months ago and when we found out he was going to be a boy we both agreed this would be our last child.

We decided because we now had one of each, I had had many miscarriages and I actually found pregnancy pretty horrid.

Even after all this I found myself one afternoon thinking about my births and the tiny newborn stages and my ovaries started to twitch. I was never going to experience those things again.
I was never going to hold a tiny newborn that was mine, the amazing feeling of first kicks in my stomach and the excitement of finally meeting your child after the long nine month wait was never to happen again...sigh!

Cassi is (very slowly) creeping towards toddlerhood and my CC is bounding to 4 years old, I am really going to miss it all.
I mentioned this to my husband and he laughed...the kinda sarcastic laugh that implies, am a nutter.

I know I won’t have any more, another child would mean an increase in financial burden, new car, new house and an extra mouth to feed. It would mean I would need to grow an extra hand due to my other children pretty much taking up the use of my original two.

I have been a mum pretty much for 4 years now, I can’t imagine life any different. The idea of both my children being at school and me having to go back to work full time makes me sad because I actually love that am home with the kids all day (I do work but its evening work).
I love watching the cheesy birthing and baby shows that are on the TV, I am sure am not the only one also pushing when the lady on the screen does?

Will this feeling pass? Or will I be begging my husband to pop another seed in me as Cassi becomes more independent.

I am addicted to the constant need my children have for me, it’s overwhelming at times and a pain in the ass at times, especially when you’re trying to go to the toilet in peace but it’s a real strange feeling losing that feeling that you are needed.

I still have a few years before the children drop me and start to think of me as the uncoolest person in the world. If they are anything like myself they will still need me in their 30’s....even if it’s just for a lend of money. HA!!!

Any way I better start looking into hobbies to help this void I have gotten myself into, coin collecting anyone???

Written by Gail @mumforce 


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