Bad Mum

Magazine

21 August 2018

I wasn’t going to say anything but here we are...



The story of my life really but like others, I don’t believe anyone should be silenced. We all have a voice. We all have opinions and how bloody boring would life be if we all thought the same?

This isn’t directed at one person as this shit goes on every day sadly. Bullying is wrong and anyone who thinks otherwise is probably an idiot... and a bully. It works both ways though. You can’t spend your life shouting victim whenever someone disagrees with you if you’re happily dishing out strong opinions daily. In an ideal world we’d all get along but there’s nothing ideal about this world.

I’m seeing seas of comments making generalisations about the middle classes and instamums. Some of which apply to a few I’m sure but not all. Some of it is cruel. To make implications that someone is a completely selfish bastards who doesn’t give a rats arse about social issues just because it’s not mentioned on her Instagram page isn’t fair. Instagram is a platform for some people and escapism for others. How someone chooses to use Instagram is none of anyone’s business. Unless of course, it’s a porn filled account but that’s another issue for another day. If someone's page isn’t making you smile then unfollow.

Mumsnet is a breeding ground for this hatred. I’m sure lots of people have used it, played nicely and found some good support but my attention only gets drawn to it when some mud slinging is occurring so I’m not a fan. The group AIBU (am I being unreasonable) needs an autoresponse that says ‘yes dear. You probably are’ and then switches off further comments.

I’m a tiny Insta fish but I’ve had shit on here. I’ve been slated for being fat and the like. I can handle that and I’m lucky that’s as far as it went. If someone was to question my parenting abilities then the gloves would be off. That shit hurts. For a group of people to sit round suggesting a beautiful child should have been terminated because of someone’s circumstance boils my piss. If you have any genuine concerns for a child’s safety and you're on the internet moaning about it then you’re a c*nt. 

Call the social worker if you’re that worried. If you’re not then shut up and move along. If someone has a massive blog and gets paid work and you don’t like it. Don’t follow them. It’s really as simple as that. Don’t jump on a thread spouting child exploitation.

There’s a lot of assumptions being made on both sides. I won’t bore you with the details of my background as it’s not relevant but I’m not middle class, I don’t ski and I’m most certainly not a Tory. A lot of my friends are middle-class ladies and I love them dearly. Class, money and background don’t come into it. So when I see them all being tarred with the same brush it gets my back up. I’m loyal babe. They don’t sit around drinking Gin all day and counting their husband's money. Some even make their own money and they all have their own struggles. All of which are relevant.

I keep reading about people deciding to be diverse and posting about certain issues purely for a reaction. I imagine this goes on – in fact I know it does. For me though if someone is posting about mental health for example just for the engagement it’s a bit shitty. However, if it helps one person and/or raises awareness then I’m really ok with that. Awareness is awareness but that’s just my opinion.

The issues that get discussed on Instagram are huge. Poverty is a really fucking big issue and I’m worried this is being overlooked in tit for tat us and them battle. Let’s not lose sight of what’s really important here. Unless you’ve been unfortunate enough to experience some of the bigger issues it’s really hard for you to understand just how tough it is. That doesn’t make you a bad person and you can still help. We all have the ability to make a difference.

I’m still baffled that trolling happens. I’m old enough that I grew up without the internet and I’m actually so glad. Life was far simpler then.  Instagram is my best friend and worst enemy all rolled into one. It gives many a voice and that’s amazing but sadly this means there are people hiding behind fake accounts getting kicks out of spreading hurt. These are the people we should be trying to shut down. Not a strong woman who is using their voice. 

These woman should be commended – and sticking together. 

Amazing things happen when we stick together.

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